Letting It Out (Part III—the Finale)

So for the year 2010, I think I have a few resolutions that I'll try to achieve.

1. For every step Life forces me to take backwards, I take 2 steps forward.

Since a few of the major setbacks of my life occurred within last year, I'm learning the one thing over and over again—Life goes on. The train is not designated to stop anytime until my last breath so I kinda have to keep up with it. Or you can call it the circle/cycle of Life. Hard to swallow? Yup. Just like how my dad's passing was a big slap in my face.

Relevant or not, I have to bring up a point to argue—why is being strong considered a good attribute? In my case I say it's bad that I have to force myself to put up a false brave front. I actually thought letting it go, crying it out loud and being a whiny little bitch would have made me feel so much better. Being able to be selfish and temperamental would have helped me deal with my grief more significantly. It's not like I have the energy to care about other people's feeling when I can't even deal with my own (this statement does not apply to my immediate family).

Back to the subject.

(Cupcake Stand—gift from Quera last X'mas. Ain't it darrrrling? Fake cupcake (yes, fake) container from RoseAndRadishSF which closed down recently. New green house key with dragonfly motif and rhinestones from Bf.)

I took the leap of faith towards the end of the year. Moving in with the bf is a biggie for me. I'm an sensible adult but it's just not the culture/norm in which I grew up in. Overnight, I gained a new wing of family, a new set of responsibilities, a new puppy(!), insights to a pseudo-married life and became rent-free! And as I type this next to my new roommate, who is unconcerned with what I'm typing on the blog (Are you writing about me? that's all he asked and No! is my dishonest reply), I'm feeling better so far.

2. Don't be greedy and do be patient.

My goals, my plans and my dreams. It'll be mine at the right place, at the right time. Provided that I work for it and don't just wait for it to fall into my lap. Lots of if's in this. Just like cooking. Everything needs the right amount of ingredients.

3. Don't take everything personal.

Bf says that I make myself angry all the time. Not those stupid fucking inconsiderate drivers of LV. Not those lame selfish negligent colleagues. Not that ugly piece of shit empty microwave cardboard box that I tried to move and freaking sliced my fourth finger into half &$%^3#@*(!?<®!!!!!!!! It hurt-ed! And now I have to type finger-tap by finger-tap!

(And this last one is for the bf...)

4. Stop buying bags.

Ok fine. Then I'll find something else to buy. Like the 1000 thread count bedsheets Quera recommended. Or more Heath bud vases for my collection. How about shoes? I haven't bought a pair of Adidas in ages and that new Star Wars X Adidas looks damn good. Do clutches count? What about jewelry? I need some nice jewelry.