I don't know if you know much about sugar

But most of the drinks in USA are sweetened with high fructose corn syrup, instead of sugar. I made a double-take when I saw this in stores and wanted it immediately. For the nolstagia and the fact that it's using real sugar. It tasted a bit different. I like it, just not used to it. Tried the Mountain Dew version too and it tastes interesting...

It's funny how we are all subjected to the 'right' choice and when we have the 'real' choice, it's like a special occasion and for this instance, it tasted interesting.

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There's so much going on right now. So tired and busy and weak. will chat with ya another day.

this is super cute (and accurate)

(stolen via DesignSponge. Original artwork of Katie Turner)

current obssession #17

I melted a little and fell in... ...

get it here.

Can x'mas come sooner?

i realised today is 08082010

and also tomorrow is Singapore National Day!

I have missed SND for like ever since I've moved away. When I think of NDP, I think of sweat. Yes, sweat flowing down from my temples, my armpits and etc. You get it. SG is just too hot for me already.

Anyways, I'm still proud to be a Singaporean.

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Last night we went out to our dear friends' house. The couple who recently lost their baby girl, the couple who brought me and bf together. I used to go to their old house all the time before I met the bf. I would be playing RockBand on Xbox for hours. We havent done a session witht them for a long time, but last night we did from 10PM until 230AM. It felt real good. They have Lady GaGa on RockBand downloadable songs now. And damn, her lyrics are crazy. I never know that until we try to play the song.

After we left their place, we actually went to a nearby casino to play some slot machine. Yes, we have became gamblers. But it's an ever-present kinda leisure outlet here and so we indulge in it. Healthily though, for we only play less expensive slot machines for fun. And for one, our little monster will be back next week from her vacation, so we wanna do as much adult stuff as we can without a curfew.

Then we went to another even more local-ish casino that I consider getting rooms for my family when they visit. I bet the rooms are like 29 bucks per night. We went there for USD3.99 Steak and eggs. 3.99!!! So erm we were not expecting much, and true to that, our orders got mixed up, which is not that bad, at least they label how the steak is cooked. Plus there was a nice amount of butte ront he toasted bread. The hhashbrown that came with it was yummy, but my egg yolk was way too runny for my taste. That was all 430AM on a lazy sunday morning.

As we exit the casino, it was evident that it rained!! BTW, rain is kinda a big deal in the desert, in the middle of summer! but it's apparent that summer is kinda ending, with the later sunsets, lowering temperature day by day. I kinda miss the winter, but now I'm reversing my emotions.

It was 500AM and the sun barely rose. My head hit the pillows by 530AM and I couldn't really sleep. It's been months since I went out this late and enjoyed the little stuffs of living in sleepless city of Las Vegas.
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How should I spend today? The boss has forewarned a hectic 2 weeks to come. So I think I wanna go out and get a little crazier than yesterday.

Maybe enjoy a Singapore Sling along the way?

If you haven't realised......

We went to San Diego Comic Con this year!!!

And sorry no, I didn't sit in on any panels or special talks because I'm not a big comic fan so it was just a free and easy trip. Comics are great, unfortch, I'm not into any right now. But maybe I will soon.....

Took some great pictures. It's like Halloween or something. Check them out.

The Agnes SO-Fluffy-I-can-die Unicorn.

R2D2!

And the coolest picture of the century...............

I know. My mouth is opened way to wide but that's how buck tooth I am. It's still an awesome pic.

Tickets for next year is gonna be on sale soon. You should get yours. The next one I wanna go is prolly Anime Con. I heard there is one in Vegas!

And before I forget. We also got to see the ocean! At last!

At Pacific Beach in San Diego

And look at the 'Monkey' I found at the beach...

we're so lucky to have sparky...

He is one of the sweetest dog I ever know. I don't know how we end up so lucky with our first adoption, but we did.

He makes me forget that I had a crappy day at work.

He makes me feel that I'm important.

He doesn't judge me.

And all he wants is cuddle-time, on the couch, in front of the TV every night.

The last day

Yesterday was the church mass. The last time I was at that church was Christmas Day, where we came to attend the mass and mainly, listen to L's singing. She's the leader of the choir.

But yesterday, she sang the hardest song of her life. It is a Filipino song about a mother, having to send her child off from this world. It brought everyone to tears. It was most beautiful—her angelic voice, her selfless love.

This morning was the burial. We stood under the gleaming sun as the white little casket shined brightly. L & J, especially L, broke down uncontrollably as they lowered her little angel six feet under. We took turns to toss in blooming white roses as we said goodbye.

Around her resting spot lies dozens of other little angels. We hope that they are happily playing up there, free from the pain and sorrows of this world, in the embrace of their loving gods.

heavy heavy heart

I dropped by Little R's viewing today during an extended lunch period. Totally clueless about Catholic funeral processions, I realize today's viewing is hosted at a mortuary, in a simple elegant room with the open casket.

Upon arrival, we sat with L and I was trying really hard to not cry. But I eventually did and it was messed up to have her comfort me a little instead of the other way round. We sat in silence because, really, what do you say in a situation like this? This is the time when being there is all that's needed.

When the rest of her family arrived, we left to return to work. But not before we went to the front of the casket to take one last look and say a goodbye prayer. Little R looks like a doll in her crisp white dress. This is also the first time I saw her in person as she has been staying at the hospital since her birth. It's so unreal. She look just like a baby, sleeping soundly in the 'bassinet' with us looking at her.

Tomorrow is the church mass and Sunday will be the burial which I realized L & J would love us to be there and so we will.

I really don't want to have to attend another baby's funeral.

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It's funny how I was so hung up with insecurities of work one second and then the grief was so strong that it swept away everything else that shouldn't have mattered.

When I got back to my desk, I suddenly developed some really bad allergies that made things worse. But I kinda had an epiphany about work. I wasn't insecure anymore. I forgot to mention that I actually went to the viewing with another colleague. And while in the car, we had a good revealing talk that reassured many questions in my head. He didn't have to tell me too much. The most important thing he made me realize is that everyday, I work hard and diligently, doing my best. If I am put in a situation where I cannot control the whirlwind around me, let it be. Right?

Life is crazy / Gone too soon

I'm combining 2 posts into 1.

I have not blogged for a while coz' I was busy. Last Friday, I hosted a Game Night at our place for my department at work and it was spectacular. I didn't take any photos but it was awesome. Inviting work colleagues into your home can be tricky. I usually hate to mix work and personal. But everyone have took turns to host either Poker Night or Game Night so I had too.

Plus our new boss just started. This Monday. I'm a religious reader of my horoscope on astrologyzone.com and with her fore-warnings of the solar eclipse that just happened on the 11th July, I had a weird feeling. This new boss would make or break it. He'll be the fourth Director I've experience in this position in this agency. They usually say 3rd is the charm, but my 3rd boss voluntarily stepped down and is now under the mercy of the new one. Whether he stays or leaves, no one but Boss No. 4 will know.

So the week began okay until the past two days when he repeatedly ask me to make changes on one particular project. Then, Big Boss hated another project. So everything went off balance and stress escalates. Then I realize it might just be politics. Then I was needed on the project anymore coz new guy got his peep to take care of it outside the agency. WTF. You guys probably cannot understand what I am saying but it's ok, I feel better ranting already.

We'll see what other shit can happen. Hopefully I won't be fired soon. I have been seeing signs of change around me. it's kinda creepy.

There are also some other bad shit that's happening. Like the BF getting traffic tickets served to him left and right after holding a clean record for more than a decade. When they come, they come in shit loads.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My first friends in LV—this couple L & J were nothing but great friends to me. They treated me like family when I had no one.

6 months ago, L was just 4 months pregnant when she had to go under emergency C-section to deliver the baby. L was fine but the baby stayed in critical condition since Day 1. Little R fought, struggled, resisted all odds to live another day after another day.

Sad to say, little R breathed her last breath last Saturday. A day after I just met up with L & J who were actually optimistic about Little R being able to discharge from the hospital. 

Sigh.

This weekend, we'll attend Little R's wake and burial. I don't know if I can hold myself together. I bet I'll break down. It's about time to.

Why Intelligent People Fail

(stolen from Cowboy, original article here)

Before you come to the conclusion yourself—At least I am intelligent enough to know that I am intelligent, yet a failure. Le Sigh~

Content from Sternberg, R. (1994). In search of the human mind. New York: Harcourt Brace.

1. Lack of motivation. A talent is irrelevant if a person is not motivated to use it. Motivation may be external (for example, social approval) or internal (satisfaction from a job well-done, for instance). External sources tend to be transient, while internal sources tend to produce more consistent performance.

2. Lack of impulse control. Habitual impulsiveness gets in the way of optimal performance. Some people do not bring their full intellectual resources to bear on a problem but go with the first solution that pops into their heads.

3. Lack of perserverance and perseveration. Some people give up too easily, while others are unable to stop even when the quest will clearly be fruitless.

4. Using the wrong abilities. People may not be using the right abilities for the tasks in which they are engaged.

5. Inability to translate thought into action. Some people seem buried in thought. They have good ideas but rarely seem able to do anything about them.

6. Lack of product orientation. Some people seem more concerned about the process than the result of activity.

7. Inability to complete tasks. For some people nothing ever draws to a close. Perhaps it’s fear of what they would do next or fear of becoming hopelessly enmeshed in detail.

8. Failure to initiate. Still others are unwilling or unable to initiate a project. It may be indecision or fear of commitment.

9. Fear of failure. People may not reach peak performance because they avoid the really important challenges in life.

10. Procrastination. Some people are unable to act without pressure. They may also look for little things to do in order to put off the big ones.

11. Misattribution of blame. Some people always blame themselves for even the slightest mishap. Some always blame others.

12. Excessive self-pity. Some people spend more time feeling sorry for themselves than expending the effort necessary to overcome the problem.

13. Excessive dependency. Some people expect others to do for them what they ought to be doing themselves.

14. Wallowing in personal difficulties. Some people let their personal difficulties interfere grossly with their work. During the course of life, one can expect some real joys and some real sorrows. Maintaining a proper perspective is often difficult.

15. Distractibility and lack of concentration. Even some very intelligent people have very short attention spans.

16. Spreading oneself too think or too thick. Undertaking too many activities may result in none being completed on time. Undertaking too few can also result in missed opportunities and reduced levels of accomplishment.

17. Inability to delay gratification. Some people reward themselves and are rewarded by others for finishing small tasks, while avoiding bigger tasks that would earn them larger rewards.

18. Inability to see the forest for the trees. Some people become obsessed with details and are either unwilling or unable to see or deal with the larger picture in the projects they undertake.

19. Lack of balance between critical, analytical thinking and creative, synthetic thinking. It is important for people to learn what kind of thinking is expected of them in each situation.

20. Too little or too much self-confidence. Lack of self-confidence can gnaw away at a person’s ability to get things done and become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Conversely, individuals with too much self-confidence may not know when to admit they are wrong or in need of self-improvement.

work: it's was fun at last...

'Coz my dept decided to host a Friday Lounge. It's a tradition at work when each dept take turns to host a themed lounge. Usually it coincides with a major holiday but this one is not. Since we are the web geeks, we came up with an awesomely themed 80s' Video Arcade Game Lounge!

We made sprites out of colorful Post-its notes and printed blocks of Tetris and decorated the hell out of the lounge area. I can proudly say that our formerly-known as the web dysfunctional dept has knocked the socks off everyone.

Anyways, this post is useless w/o pictures. So there you go!

Ben crashed the party for like 5 mins and left..........

Decorated the prize boxes with Mario bricks! Guess what's in there? Gold coins of chocolate!

Table decor with gamer food: Pizza, Doritos chips, Cheetohs, Red Vines, Pop Tarts, Mountain Dew and beer.

If you haven't seen the web phenomenon 2 Girls, 1 Up! LOL

Post-it sprites against those sunny lit windows.

Donkey Kong

They gathered at the empty desk next to mine.

I didn't post any pictures of the crowds as it's work so you know. not too many people were in the office today so too bad for them. But we were already requested to host a Lounge again some time soon!!!

Sparky on the stairs

Learning how to use my camera but I still can't get a good pic esp. at night in low lit places. I think Sparky looks like epic here.

You know I'm obssessed when I keep looking for it

Lanvin Pom Pom Chain Necklace

Lanvin Leather Chain Flats

Lanvin Leather Pom Pom Flats
Lanvin Tulle Dress 2009Lanvin Oulala Pouchettes

current obssession 16

Lanvin Pompom-embellished waist belt from the fabulous Net-A-Porter.com sale! There is still my size in the black/blue. Isn't it the best way to dress up an otherwise boring dress?

paranoid

Earlier today the BF told me that Spark was not acting normal 'cause he stop jumping when he asked him to. I just dismissed the thougth and called the BF 'crazy'.

Then we brought Sparky to the doggy park. It drizzled a little earlier so since Las Vegas rarely rains people are like scared of rain so there was no one at the small dogs' park. Sparky didn't seem real excited and I thought it was just cause there is no friends around.

Then we got home and he went straight to bed. Later he didn't eat his treats, instead he took them and put them aside which is REAL unlikely of him.

We went out for dinner and came back and realised he didn't touch his dinner at all.

Then I'm starting to freak out a little. I go to see him in his bed with an intense fear that I'll find him stop breathing lying there.

He would lay next to use while we watch tv and I check once in a while if he is breathing and would open his eyes when I pet him.

I think I am really insecure. He might be just a little under the weather or having a cold or fever. I'll continue to watch him closely the next 24 hours and react. But given what I went through a while back, I'm afraid to lose anyone now.

pretending I'm busy

Because I just wanna be in denial and avoid the crap that really bothers me.

Today at the office pantry, while exchanging conventionally boring 'hellos' and 'how are yous', another colleague and I realized we were both very mentally exhausted and did not try to pretend to be all cheerful. Sigh.

I also realize that I've lost a certain drive for my life. I don't feel like fighting anymore. No, I'm not giving up on my life, I just want, you know, to live in a peaceful and happy environment, everyday. I don't want to go to work and sulk and pick fights with people on silly little things like font sizes and alignment of graphics. As much as I've tried to avoid the drama, I don't think I ever can because working in an ad agency itself is a self-stirring-shit drama ditch.

ok stop rant. show pictures ok?

ARIA's buffet—The latest place where I have to bring visitors to. This dessert strawberry cheesecake....oh la la.

But the crab legs are the best! Dipped in melted butter!
Then we had a bbq for the weekend...
And some pretty interesting guests.

Current Obssession 15

Designer Tobias Wong died today. I dunnoe why he died and I don't know who he was until I read the press release and realised he designed a lot of cool stuff that I've seen and admired. Like the Sun Jar. I have been wanting one like forever. Everyone who has one should make sure they turn it on, for a silent moment, for him.

current obssession 14

Saw this trio of beautiful art crystal glass vases at Macys a few days ago. The colors are stunning in real, just like the picture. Too bad they cost this much. By a art glass company from Sweden Kosta Boda.

We did it

Yay!

We're having a Memorial weekend BBQ party tomorrow and a house guest, so there's a need to fix up our house asap. These are his old dining chairs and the old cushion (see far left chair) is kinda nasty. During our previous trip to Ikea, we picked up these awesome outdoor fabric, throw in a staple gun plus a Macho man...... Voila! Fresh update on the otherwise dingy dining set.

Now we are ready to have a BBQ!!!

before and after upholstered cushion chairs

When you are in love you can't
fall asleep because reality is
better than your dreams.
~ Dr. Seuss