Letting It Out (Part II)

But I shall like to be grateful, for the good (and the bad) things that happened to me. I'm lucky to be alive and these things let me feel alive. They make me feel ever so vulnerable and so tiny. But isn't the whole world made out of all these tiny tiny little things that didn't really seem to matter?

In May, some of my closest friends flew across the globe and met me for a vacation. I had a great time. They made me laugh, made me feel lucky and made me feel loved (XOXO). I have to say I have little (if any) best girlie friends in LV who I would call for a last min shopping trip or a date for a manicure. During the trip, the bf also passed the ultimate girlfriend/shopping/patience test and so I knew he is a keeper.

But I seem to be a magnet for tragedy this year. And my brother has not called me as much as before because he felt like he is always the bearer of bad news. He called one very normal Saturday, right after I paid for my much-anticipated cup of selfserve yogurt topped with Ghiradeli chocolate fudge and sprinkles of mochi bits and strawberries. I didn't take a single bite. How could I when I learnt of the sudden deteoriation of my Puppy's health. He narrated to me the whole incident when he rushed her to the vet. "It happened exactly like dad's. It felt exactly like what happened a few months ago."

Retreating to the car, feeling completely useless and paralyzed from the news, the bf could only watch and try to grasp what's happening. Flood gates open once again. I felt really tired, really really exhausted and numb.

They arranged for her euthanasia a few days later. My little bro called me during the process to let me say my goodbyes. He said that it's almost time and he will call me back again. He said she is just lying on the vet's table. And then he said she opened her eyes for one last time and was gone.