Letting It Out (Part II)

But I shall like to be grateful, for the good (and the bad) things that happened to me. I'm lucky to be alive and these things let me feel alive. They make me feel ever so vulnerable and so tiny. But isn't the whole world made out of all these tiny tiny little things that didn't really seem to matter?

In May, some of my closest friends flew across the globe and met me for a vacation. I had a great time. They made me laugh, made me feel lucky and made me feel loved (XOXO). I have to say I have little (if any) best girlie friends in LV who I would call for a last min shopping trip or a date for a manicure. During the trip, the bf also passed the ultimate girlfriend/shopping/patience test and so I knew he is a keeper.

But I seem to be a magnet for tragedy this year. And my brother has not called me as much as before because he felt like he is always the bearer of bad news. He called one very normal Saturday, right after I paid for my much-anticipated cup of selfserve yogurt topped with Ghiradeli chocolate fudge and sprinkles of mochi bits and strawberries. I didn't take a single bite. How could I when I learnt of the sudden deteoriation of my Puppy's health. He narrated to me the whole incident when he rushed her to the vet. "It happened exactly like dad's. It felt exactly like what happened a few months ago."

Retreating to the car, feeling completely useless and paralyzed from the news, the bf could only watch and try to grasp what's happening. Flood gates open once again. I felt really tired, really really exhausted and numb.

They arranged for her euthanasia a few days later. My little bro called me during the process to let me say my goodbyes. He said that it's almost time and he will call me back again. He said she is just lying on the vet's table. And then he said she opened her eyes for one last time and was gone.

Letting it out (Part I)

So it's the end of the year and time for the cheesey end-of-year reflection post. BTW, thanks for sticking by despite the lack of updates. Read on and you'll see why.

The year begun with a huge BANG. I was in Singapore and had an awesome beautiful night with my dearest family. We got a nice little room up in the skies of the Pan Pacific Hotel that provided us with a magnificent view of the fireworks display. Everyone of us together, to welcome a new year, with new hopes and celebrate my little pig brother's entry into adulthood. OMG! He was so much cuter, easier to handle but as violent, when he was "this" (putting my hands to my knees) small.

But the vacation had to end and I scurried back to LV to continue on my selfish journey of self-fulfillment. In a seemingly uneventful day/night of recovering from my jetlag, I decided to attend a birthday party and was amusingly harassed by a drunken guy armed with a love for taking our partying pictures and a dorky smile. He is now my bf.

Not too long after celebrating our first Vomitine's day, everything really went downhill. Not about the relationship, but about my dad's health. I jumped on the next plane on an early Monday morning (I will never forget that longest ride of my life) but I was too late.

Regrets—sums up almost everything and anything. I have never cried so much and I really hope I don't have to ever again. The pain of losing the person who selflessly gave you, your life and everything else in between is devastating. Every moment of remembrance brings about this sinking sour, tight squeeze in my heart that will now live on with me. Floods of emotions poured out even more as my nephew was born right when the funeral ended exactly 7 days later, exactly my birthday.

It is still tough trying to comprehend what had just happened. But out of all, I guess I was the luckiest one. To be able to fly away and treat it all like a dream, while I left my mom, my brothers, my SIL, my nephew, my uncles and aunties and everyone else behind to mourn and pick up the pieces themselves. I could lie and say nothing happened. I could still tell myself that everything is alright. What I don't see, I don't know or cannot remember. I did not take that trip back home and I did not just said my last goodbyes. I did not see my mom and my brothers cry nor did I just hear their hearts break. And I certainly had not see my dad for the very last time.

(To be continued...... I was writing this on a very slow day at work. Started to be kinda depressed and teary. Got interrupted by a phone call from bf whose rushing me to go home for lunch. So off I go, and I'll be back. sigh.)

p.s. Have a very merry Christmas y'all! I'll be having a quiet weekend, catching up with life :)

A Collaboration Born in a Galaxy Far, Far Away...

Why do they always make only the Men's collection but not for women too? ARGH. All they have is ONE pair of shoes for women. ONE!

Women's Game Mid Princess Leia

I like this comic tee too.
Will force bf to look like a hipster with this too.

Something's baking in the oven!

Spent the entire evening preparing two batchs of cookies for the annual holiday cookie exchange thingy at work. This year I organized it, so the organizer has to go all out to impress. Well, within my reach.....

Got the recipe for Cowboy Cookies. Seem to be pretty good with oatmeal, pecan, coconut and chunks of chocolate....sounds a lot eh? It is. Towards the end it was hard to mix coz of the chunkiness. Nevertheless they turned out great.

And I had to do two batch, one without nuts, so I appropriately renamed them Cowgirl Cookies. wahahahaha. I thought I was pretty smart and funny to think of that.

For one, I know my packaging is already kicking some ass. With the help of Martha (again, recipe and labels), I created these custom labels in holiday colors. So happy with the end result.

Oh, the msot important thing is that the cookies tasted really great too!!!!

Will post again after tomorrow's exchange!

this little bugger....looks too cute.

Sparky & Ashley

Current Obssession #9

William Sonoma's Sandwich Cookie Cake Pans with Chocolate Sandwich Cookie Cake Mix

Happy Thanksgiving!

I'll be chilling, moving, maybe some shopping, painting, unpacking, napping, eating, drinking, playing, packing, moving, unpacking........

See ya and have a good one!

Isn't that cute!

Ethel's Chocolate Factory Cactus Lighting Night

The only LV native thing (besides gambling and etc) is Ethel's Chocolate Factory. I may or may not have brought peeps there when they are out here. Mainly coz' I always lose my way getting there. The street that leads to it becomes a fork and I always forget which way is the right one............

Anyways, it was nice to get a kick start into the holiday season. The weather just turn cold for now. It did earlier, then it turned warm again. But now I think it's here to stay. It's not that cold anyways, compared to like Detroit.

So the bf actually said: I'm seeing all these X'mas stuff. Makes me feel festive, makes me feel happy. Which is good because he was complaining about a headache and feeling queszy and he forgot all about that when he got there.

As a bonus we got an assorted box of chocolate. I was surprised that the bf actually told us to choose for a box of 12. I got my favorite cheesecake flavor (I know huh, so un-chocolatey flavor but it's so good), liquer champagne flavored ones and some other boring nuts ones.

Ended the evening with some L&L Hawaiian BBQ dinner and lychee flavored green tea. Yums. Got Spam Musubi to-go for tomorrow breakfast!!!

Andre Agassi Book Signing 9/11/09

I unfortunately blocked his face in this shot as I was turning back to chat with him.

So yes, I bought his autobiography. It seems so long ago when I saw his tournaments playing on tv. And I remember being pleasantly surprised when I found out that Steffi Graf and him were happily married with 2 kids. He was pretty eloquent during the hosted event. It seems like a pretty sincere book written by a pretty sincere human being. Read Chapter 1 while waiting forever in line to meet him and to get my book signed after the talk.

The book launched today and since he is a native of Las Vegas, he decided to have the launch here, in Las Vegas. Why does it always have to be in New York right?

So Mommy and I went to Salt Lake City

Another pin for the world map! I'm almost done conquering cities of USA............

It's so green and lush and beautiful.......and I'm living in the desert.........I NEED TREES EVERYWHERE!!!!!! Oh we were on our way to Sundance, home of that annual funky movie festival.

At the Sundance Cottage Deli, where they have lotsa lollipops (I bought a rootbeer flavor) and also little knick-knacks.


I think this is downtown Salt Lake City. Actually I don't remember the difference between Park City, Sundace and Provo. Ok, wait, the few pics above are of Park City I think.....Oops.
Woke up really early in the morning to go to Temple Sq, the heart of Salt Lake City, where they have lotsa Mormon stuff. The Mormon choir is world famous and we are at the live recording on Sunday Morning for church. They broadcast this live on radio and tv.

Nice ceiling thing at the Convention Center....Its huge. and huge.HAHA.......check out these souvenirs I saw at the airport. AWESOME.

(OMG. I havent blog so much, and I have forgotten how to do it. Because I actually went and tried to post this entry on my old, now defunct, blog. OMG. I need to blog more....yeah yeah)

ok ok

I'm a slacker of my blog. I haven't been blogging because:

1) Facebook

My blog was mainly meant to be for my family and friends to keep in touch and know what I have been up to. But Facebook is doing a great job of that that I do not need to blog and bore you guys in longer sentences. With my frequent status/twitter updates and posting photos in your news feed, you don't really need to read my blog I don't need to update my blog anymore. Besides it's more fun. But I actually have less audience on this blog. It's meant to be more personal. oh well.

2) Work

SO tired everyday after work! I used to be able to blog a little DURING work. But not now, hopefully maybe during the holiday season things might slow down a little. Maybe. But at least I have a job.

3) Boyfriend

His name is Ben and he wants all my time outside work and bathroom breaks. LOL. Nah....Actually I am a clinger so I stalk him and attach myself to him 24/7. So I have been busy dating. Heehee come on! Be happy for me! 

4) Life

You know, sometimes lotsa things happened and you don't really wanna talk about it? yeah. 

Ok..... I'll try to blog again soon. Meanwhile take care ya?

I haven't been blogging!

I promise I'll blog real soon (maybe tomorrow, I have to go shower now or I'll get yelled at).

Art collecting is an expensive hobby

I admit that I am not good of an artist because I can't draw. But I sure do have the best eye in picking out great art. Like this one by James Jean:

(image *borrowed* from http://processrecess.com)

I need to get a print of this and hang it near my vanity for juxtaposition. The above print is call: (what else?) VANITY.

He is also the artist behind the "Fairy" collection from Prada a while back.

Finally I am mobile!

After waiting for about 1 week, I finally received my new driver's license from the DMV. Meanwhile, I couldn't drive as I went to renew it pretty late and realise that you no longer can receive the new card on the spot, they need about 1 week's time and then they will mail it to you. That's coz' of some new technology they're using to make those card to prevent fraud. So he has been my Ahmad for a week, I would say I don't mind at all.

On the picture below you'll see my old license. It was done when I first moved here almost two years ago (separate entry on that). I look good I think. A little more feminine and demure than the reality.

Then now you see the angry, unsatisfied criminal look on my face on the new license right below the old one. What's wrong? Sigh, After waiting 3.5 hours at the registration office to have your picture taken, anyone could look like that.

Plus they updated the design with random animals roaming (how come I never see them running around happily at all?). And that title font! God save the DMV.

XOXO

Following up from my Anna Sui x Target Collection post::

These are what I got so far.......

Cotton Butterfly Text Tee Shirt - GraySilk Printed Tunic Dress - BlackSilk Patterned Dress - Multi (it's sooooo Blair)
Seersucker Dress w/Lace - Black
Bib Tee Shirt - Gray with Black Lace Fringe Cotton Necklace Tee Shirt - Purple———Feel like returning this one 'coz I spent too much. what do you think?

These are what I returned so far.......

Sheer Dot Jacquard Dress - Black (he didn't know I hate Polka dots, plus it was too sheer.)

Plus one more black dress that is no longer on the website. (looked like a dress you wear to a funeral with a polka dot mesh sleeves)
So, did I buy too much or wat? I'll continue to stalk my Target store until the collection ends. I know for sure that some of them will go on sale.They are not that super cheap anyways, especially the dresses, they cost on average about USD60++. Well, it's a small fraction to the usual Anna Sui price tag of USD300!